Am I winning yet?

Saturday 21 April 2018

Am I winning yet? Am I in control of my Parkinson's?

I would love this blog to be all positivity and optimism every week, like some other Parkinson’s blogs I have come across.

But I prefer to say it like it is, good and bad, warts and all, no sugar coating. I want to ask the difficult questions, find honest answers and tackle the consequences head on, no matter how unpalatable. Although I am generally an optimistic person, I have no truck with uplifting platitudes that obfuscate the truth.

So the short answer to the question “am I winning yet?” is no, I am still a slave to the daily whims of my disease. 

But, slowly, things are improving.

This week on holiday in Barbados, fatigue aside, I hardly noticed my condition. On the whole I slept well (despite the noisy main road nearby).  Unlike in Malta last year, I had no difficulties swimming. Driving is less of an issue than it was last summer. I am contemplating returning to work full time. And some recently developed symptoms have largely abated. Though I still struggled with things like writing postcards and opening bottles.

Is this a turning point? Is my daily imbibing of single malt whisky actually achieving something? Or is this all part of the natural waxing and waning of Parkinson’s?

I will have to wait and see.

So, not winning yet, but perhaps the game is starting to change. Watch this space...

Flexible working arrangement

Saturday 7 April 2018

My trial period of working 4½ days per week will be up at the end of this month (see my previous post on Occupational Health) and I need to decide what to do next.

I have a meeting with HR booked in a couple of weeks’ time and it seems to me I have three choices to discuss with them:

1)   Continue the same arrangement, probably for another three months
2)   Reduce further to say a four-day week
3)   Return to full time

The obvious choice is the first one.  But I have an issue with it.

When it works, it’s great – for example, yesterday (Friday), I downed tools at lunchtime, caught up with an old friend for lunch, then caught up with another friend in the early evening and so by the time I got home, I was exhausted, but was also nicely relaxed for the weekend.  The problem is that I frequently make up for not working on Friday afternoon by working on Friday evening and at the weekend. On average I work perhaps only an hour or two less each week. So I’m clocking say 5% less hours for 10% less pay.

Is this a question of discipline? Of laying down the law that I do not work between Friday lunchtime and Monday morning? Is it an issue of making colleagues and clients more aware of my situation? Of better delegation?

To some extent, yes to all of these things, but there is a more fundamental problem. 

The challenge is that I’m not paid by the hour. Because I work for a Professional Services company, I’m paid for my performance in other ways. There are quantitative measures like how much sales revenue I generate and how much I bill of my own time over the course of the year.  And there are more qualitative expectations like developing our staff, building an industry network, and demonstrating future potential.

So, when a request from a client comes in on Friday morning to prepare a proposal by Monday or Tuesday, as happened recently, it’s not in my own interest to say “sorry I only work a half day on Fridays and I don’t work weekends - can you wait until Wednesday?” Are clients being unreasonable? Perhaps. But they also pay for my salary as well as the nice building I work in and many other things. And they can easily take their business to a willing competitor.

There is a fourth option: change job function to something more predictable. But, fatigue aside, I do still enjoy much of what I do and I’m not quite ready to give it up yet.

The conclusion I am coming to is to go with the third option, namely revert back to full time. Given that I still do more or less the same hours as I used to, I may as well get paid for them.

But what I am going to do, is still take the odd Friday afternoon off when I feel the need, either as holiday or as time in lieu for the extra hours I put in anyway.  And I’m going to be more consistent about working from home at least one day per week.

At some point I will need to cut back further on my workload, to a four-day week. When that happens, I will need to be stricter about not making up the lost hours and be clearer about having lower annual performance.

But for now, I feel I should make hay while the sun shines.  I suspect the time will come when the extra money that I can still earn now will come in very handy.

Meanwhile, it’s now Saturday afternoon and I have a stack of emails from Friday to get through – time to log on to my work computer…

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