(See also previous posts the in-laws and the call.)
Maria passed away
unexpectedly at the age of 85.
Clara’s mother died
the way many people, myself included, would like to go: quickly, quietly,
painlessly and at home.
Laughing and chatting
with her carer in the morning there were no signs of the brief heart attack
that would take her life in the early afternoon. Although she had Alzheimer’s
and understood little of what was going on, physically she had appeared to be
in good health. The sun was shining, and the small suburban garden that her
room overlooked was in the full bloom of late spring. Maria’s life ended on a happy day, rather
than in the gloom of mid-winter. Good for her.
Clara very sensibly moved her parents into a flat across the road from us last
year so that they could much closer to their three children, who all live in
London. As a result, they all got to spend a good amount of time with their
mother this year. I had last seen her about a week earlier when I went round to
change a lightbulb; she had certainly seemed fine to me then.
Maria was a geography
teacher through her working life, teaching at a variety of secondary schools in
the North West. She was a committed Catholic, with a strong sense of duty that
she passed on to Clara and others. After retirement, she was pillar of the
local church, playing the piano at every Sunday service for several decades.
She had been diagnosed
with Alzheimer’s about five years ago. I had planned to write about it in this
blog: about how the fog of dementia gradually descends, slowly and cruelly
taking away the person you once knew.
But now that she has
passed away, Clara and her siblings quite rightly prefer to remember her as the
person she was before then: an energetic, confident and decent woman, and a
loving, caring mother.
There are funeral
arrangements to sort out and then attention will turn to Clara’s dad: so far he
has taken the loss of his wife of nearly 60 years as well as can be expected. Once
the turmoil settles, we all want to help him enjoy his remaining years, whether
they be many or few.
But for now, we
remember all the wonderful things about Maria.
